Mock Organic Cuisine at Your Own Risk

Cracked was the longtime lame competitor to MAD Magazine, one so lame it doesn't even exist anymore in a print edition. Recently, they came out with an argument against organic food that basically categorizes it as an opportunity for people to feel good about themselves. It's such an oversimplification of the issues surrounding food that it's pretty dumb, but it also brings up great points. For instance: do you think you're saving the planet just because you buy something labeled "organic"? Look closely. Most of the products labeled as such actually belong to mega-corporations whose commitment to an eco-lifestyle is a bunch of flapping lips. Forget organic, and buy local from people near you, not from Chile (lay off the Chilean sea bass and virtually any seafood not captured from the Newport Beach dory fleet!)

Let's Create Community!

Orange County is so damn developed that scenarios like the one depicted in this New York Times article—about how Palmetto, Georgia wants to become the Sonoma of the South—are impossible. Sure, you can find a couple of organic farms here and there, but even restaurants like Ramos House and Sapphire that grow many of their own ingredients must do so from the owner's backyard or small terrain on their property that competes with NIMBY neighbors and asphalt. That's why most of the participants in the county's farmer's markets don't actually grow their crops in Orange County but must trek from beyond the Orange Curtain. Too bad the lords of Orange County couldn't have left even a bit of our rustic charm (save the exploitation of Mexicans) when deciding to run tractors over some of the most fertile soil in America.

Eat Meat Near Your Street

The slaughterhouses of Kansas City, Missouri largely ushered in the move toward mass-produced beef, pork, and chicken. Now, in a bit of cosmic remorse, some Missouri chefs are trying to get locals to buy meat from their nearby slaughterhouse. That's been a problem for us: does anyone know where to buy organic meat raised in Southern California? Most of the meat we find at farmer's market, while fed organically, is raised on farms far away. Oh, for the time of the Californios!